Let Me Bring You Up To Date.

Hi. I failed. I told myself I was going to be really good at this whole blogging thing and I pretty much dropped the ball for a month and a half. So instead of trying to catch up, I guess I'm just going to give you the highlights.
1. I switched majors! Yes, the time came where I was so tempted by that dang Vocal Performance major that I just HAD to take it. I was so relieved and happy when I made the switch. The downfall is that I will be stuck here longer than I had originally intended which stinks, but is something I will just have to live through. I switched because I realized I'm too full of myself to not take the opportunity to be in the spotlight for once. Its kinda an awful thing to admit but at the end of the day, I can't lie that that was the reason I switched. So now, I am solely focusing on my vocal chords and trying to teach them to be great! I can already feel myself improving and sounding more and more professional. I have always been so excited to finally have that professional voice and it seems so close yet so far away. I hope to one day to be good enough to train other passionate musicians how to work there voice.
2. Its finally warming up here! Granted, its still below 40 degrees but its an improvement! The snow is no more and the freezing is gone as well. I hear spring in Rexburg is stunning. I just wish it would get here faster.
3. I went home. And it was probably the best weekend of my life. I will be the first to admit that I really miss home and my family. I don't think Rexburg will ever be "Home" to me. When driving into the valley I just cried and cried as I saw the glow of the prison lights and the single stoplight in College Place. It was definitely a needed trip. I miss home. Gosh I can't say it enough. I miss home!! When I was growing up at home I remember I would always complain about not growing up fast enough and not getting my life started and now that its all here and happening now, there are parts of me that just want to go back to the days of popsicles in bath tubs and disney sing a long movies. Life was simple; I didn't have to worry about not having enough ketchup to last me until the next time that I went to the grocery store or if I would have enough quarters to do my laundry. It wasn't my problem. Anyways, Im nostalgic... Missing those days a lot lately.
4. I bought a pair of heels. Im not sure why I needed to inform you all of this but I felt like it was a big milestone! I don't wear heels because I seriously feel like a giant with huge flipper feet. But I bought a pair and man! Those things are super empowering! Granted, I'll rarely wear them because Im self  conscious of my giant feet but hey... I bought them so theres that!
5. I passed that piano class that I was freaking out about.... That seems like such a puny wimpy problem now looking back... but yeah! I passed and now because of the major switch, I am done with piano lessons forever!! It was a wonderful feeling hearing that! :)
6. I discovered that I really enjoy yogurt... It is beyond delicious! Yummmmm!!!
7. I also discovered that I love the TV show Scrubs... Its been my guilty pleasure the past week or so.
All in all, I am surviving! And thats all that I can really ask for :) Im here doing what I really love and am passionate about. I am excited that this semester is almost over and can't wait for next semester! Next semester I will be taking:
Theory 2, Music in Western Civilization, Acting 1, Book of Mormon 2, Diction for Singers 2, Womens Choir, Foundations Capstone and Voice Lessons 2.
It will be a busy and great semester!! I am really looking forward to it and am DYING for this semester to be over now :P

Thats all for now...
Be nice to people !!
Love, Courtney Griggs

Sitting in my bed.

Its friday. YESSSSS! We survived America!! Another week done and gone! Speaking of which, I  have been going to school at BYU-I for 1 month today! Crazy! Time has flown it seems looking back on the past four weeks. I only have 10 more weeks of this semester! AHHHH!!! Granted, that is a long time, but if they go by as fast as the last month, I won't complain.
Things have settled nicely, I have a routine and I'm good at keeping routine. Ive been spending almost 2 hours daily in a practice room trying to learn pieces to test out of my piano class next week. Piano is so much fun when you have the liberty to do what you want with your fingers. Truly, I wish that fingering wasn't such a big deal. I would pass that class in a heartbeat if I could play it however I wanted to. So if you wouldn't mind adding me to your prayers next wednesday, that would be very much appreciated. I really need to pass this test in order to be out of here in the next two years. If I don't pass, it adds another semester that I have to be here.
Along with this class that I am trying to test out, I also have my theory class that I am going to be taking the test out exam on monday. Im a little nervous for it considering that the mock exam I got 3 point under what you need to pass. Ive been studying to hopefully improve that score because I really don't think I could handle being in that class any longer. I think I would be miserable.
Its so crazy that I am almost done with all of this stuff that I have been working to test out of. I really would feel much better about myself and this semester if I test out of both.
Other awesome things that are happening is my mom and my grandma are coming up in just 19 days!!! I can't even begin to express how excited I am for them to be up here with me for a few days! Also, Ciera sent me a letter from home yesterday and it made my whole night. I miss that cute little sister that I have. This is now a plug to put my address in because I love getting letters and packages :P 140 West 2nd South Apt. 4 Rexburg, Idaho 83440. :)
Alaina and I had our first dance social of the semester and it was... an experience in itself. I think our class might be a little bit more ahead then the other classes that take social dance 1. I love the swing so much and Im planning on teaching it to some people when I get back home. :)
The snow never seems to stop here. It was snowing so hard here last night. It snowed about a foot and then its been trying to snow all morning. I can't wait for spring to come.
I'm finally making friends....YAYA!!!!
Next weekend two of my room mates including Alaina will be gone... What am I gunna do??! I think next weekend will be a little lonely. :P

Well thats all that has been going on with my life. I'm busier than ever! Hope you all have a wonderful week!


Happy Singing!
Courtney Griggs

A Day of Wishings.

I think eventually everyone goes through a part of their life when they move away where they feel like they just can't pick up all the pieces that keep falling. I just feel like I have a pile of things that I have to do and I just can't seem to succeed at any of them because Im trying too hard on the other things. I'm learning more and more about myself daily and lately I'm learning that I am more of perfectionist then I realized. Being a perfectionist is a good thing to a point but when it starts eating you alive, its almost impossible to bear. I want to just succeed now! And I just can't.

I've spent hours in the practice room in the past 4 days... I think I have been working solely on piano music for at least 9 hours for the past four days. I haven't even begun working on the instrument that Im here for; my voice. I have not been able to sit down in a practice room and feel comfortable singing. I just know how important playing the piano is right now. It's whatever I guess. I wish that I could turn down so many things for church but I can't bring myself to do because then I fail. And I'm not comfortable with failing in someones eyes. I want to prove to everyone here that I am here to work. Why then won't my work pay off? 

Today I played in Sacrament Meeting in our ward for a duet and a flute. They couldn't find a time to practice within the three days that they gave me the music (they gave it to me friday) and so this was our full run through was our performance. As I mentioned above, I have been practicing. Hard! But once you add singers and a Flute for Heaven Sakes, and don't practice, then its obviously just not going to be perfect. It wasn't perfect. It was a C+ performance for me at best. I was really frustrated with myself and the hours that I had put into practicing that piece. It was just an all around bummer and I beat myself up for the rest of the meeting. What's worse is that then I got comments afterwards about how they could hear all of my mess ups. And I just beat myself up more. I just can't win lately! With anyone it seems! Ive never felt this alone before. So after church, I ran to my practice room at the Snow Building and I knocked out that song and played it perfectly. Note for note. it made me feel better but I am still so frustrated with myself and that I couldn't bring it when it mattered most. 

Feeling alone made me miss my beautiful mother. I miss her beyond words. Why is it that when you don't live with your mom anymore that you want them more? Ive realized since being here how much my mom is my best friend. I texted her to tell her I missed her and she had cut her hair!! She has retro bangs! She looks beautiful. I miss being at her home with her a lot. 

I also miss my dad. I spent a good hour and a half on the phone with him trying to fix my computer. I miss his hugs that he would give me when I felt lonely or frustrated with myself. 

I wish that home was closer so I could go see them all. It's harder then I even imagined to live this far away. I know I'm here to start my life but I am such a nostalgic person and miss the memories there. I don't do well with change (Does this surprise any of you) So I struggle trying to make new memories that I can cherish.

Anyways, that enough of a depression blog I think for today. 

Happy Singing!

Courtney Griggs 

I just need to get things off my chest and rant.

I'm really really done with a lot of things right now. I know that my last post was about being positive but I am really to the point that tears are inevitable every time I even think about doing productive things.
To start, if you don't want to hear me rant, STOP READING. I am probably going to say something that offends someone and then hurt people's feelings. But I really need to write and scream into my computer to feel better about myself.
1. I AM NOT A PIANO GENIUS. I am SO beyond SICK of the people in my ward assuming that I can learn any piece of music in a short amount of time. Along with being the ward pianist, I apparently am also the choir pianist, the relief society pianist and the special musical number pianist. I don't EVER get to sing. ISNT THAT MY MAJOR!?! Singing????? I just really am beyond frustrated. I did not accept this calling to be stuck behind a piano all the time. It really isn't what I even came to school to do. If I wanted to do that, I would have signed up for that major and not one for my vocal chords. I spent two hours yesterday and an hour and a half today solely working on piano stuff. Granted, today was mostly devoted to my class that I am trying to test out of in a couple of weeks but I still feel like I can't really even focus on that because I have to focus on my calling at church. It doesn't help that everyone just assumes I am really an outstanding player and I can play anything in front of me. Im working on that slowly. But I can't just jump right into that. I barely have the  skill to play the hymns for sunday let alone accompianment. Last night was rough realizing how far behind I am and feeling very very unskilled. I just wish that there was an easier way to gain flawless fingers and skills.
2. I AM WORKING HARD. Don't you DARE tell me I'm not. I am working my butt off trying to stay in the game. People are always commenting on how easy it must be to be a music major when in reality its one of the toughest majors out there. If I see one more person give me the funny look when I say I haven't been sleeping because I am studying music, I WILL THROW A FIT. #sorrynotsorry
3. I REALLY REALLY DONT GET THE BREATHE FROM YOUR DIAPHRAGM THING EVERYONE HERE IS RAVING ABOUT. Im sorry. My body just has a tough time figuring this out. Its probably from my lack of good posture but I truly have the toughest time with this concept. I stand in front of the mirror trying to figure it out and I just end up feeling very upset and frustrated.
4. STOP TELLING ME I HAVE A SPOT ON MY FACE. ITS A ZIT; I KNOW AND I REALLY CANT DO ANYTHING BECAUSE I AM STRESSED. And I eat too much chocolate... But I REALLY NEED the chocolate. It tends to calm me down just a little bit.
5. I HATE FROZEN. I really dislike this stupid movie. I don't care how cute it was. Find a different song to sing because my ears are bleeding from listening to you sing it.



Im sorry. I really truly will be... Tomorrow. But I am so tired and frustrated I just needed to get this all off my chest.

Dont strain your vocal chords.
Courtney Griggs

For my Dad.

My dad asked me two nights ago if I just liked complaining on here.... Apparently I do. :P But he then said he wanted to read a positive blog post and then challenged me to think of three things that were good. Considering the week I'm having this week, this is going to be insanely difficult. So I'm going to try really hard not to complain and to talk positively this whole blog. Yippie. Wish me luck.
1. I'm really thankful for laughing cow cheese. Sales at Albertson's that make it super cheap and easy to buy makes my life! This is literally my go to snack... I come home from school and I pull out my crackers and cheese and study and snack.
2. Im grateful for headphones. Especially on the way to school in the morning. Its a cold lonely walk in the morning and so having that extra boost of Tommy Sparks or Daft Punk can make anyones morning. I can make it as loud as possible and I can feel like a model walking to the beat of the music. And then people don't even realize how cool you are.
3. I am grateful for my phone so that I can keep in contact with all of my family. Life can be lonely up here at times and it is nice to have my family just buttons away from me. I wish they were closer so I could see them more often and I could go home monthly but thats just not very plausible. Sigh. I miss my family a lot. I miss my mom a lot. I miss my dad a lot. I miss sitting at home at dinner with everyone. I miss saying prayers together and sitting together at church.
So there Dad! I AM grateful for things!


Happy singing!
Courtney Griggs

P.S. But seriously, if you could keep me in your prayers this week, I would really appreciate it... This week has been brutal and I am just really stressed and tired. Thank you.

Diction will be the death of me.

Apparently, I don't know how to talk. This diction class will truly be the death of me. Why? Because I, along with everyone in my apartment, say butter wrong. And that is just the tip of the iceberg.
Today as I was studying Diction I realized that English is really really REALLY dumb. People that speak english are dumb and people who ever want to learn english is dumb. English is just really dumb. I have no other words for it aside from the fact that we all don't know how to speak english. Trust me. You as an english speaker speak about 80% of the language correctly. But 20% of the language that you speak, you speak incorrectly. Take butter for example. Butter has a couple different sounds. The B at the beginning of the word is formed by exploding the air through your mouth (Plosive Articulator).  This is a voiced consonant meaning that you need to add your voice to produce the sound. The R at the end of the word is the same way aside from the fact that it is a retroflex articulator. Here is where the issue is. Say the consonant T. Is this voiced? Or unvoiced? T is actually an unvoiced consonant. Now say Butter. Did you notice that you actually said Budder? You are voicing the T! Which turns the T consonant into a D consonant! Why do we do that?! We ALL say budder unless you think about it and then say butter. What a shame! We all can't even speak the language that we have. I just find it so odd and sad. We have this beautiful language that we have each learned but we butcher it all the time. I wish that our language were much easier to understand. I feel so bad for those foreign people who have to learn English. What a hard task!
Diction is going to be the death of me. I have terrible habits that I have to break within the next two weeks. I feel like when I talk, I have to talk with perfect diction. I am always thinking about where my tongue is when I am forming words and I am always thinking about how to make more space in my mouth to form clearer words. Truly, I never knew how much your mouth is moving and working to form words. It's a lot more work then you are giving credit for.
The sad thing about this is that I have to start to focus on how my mouth works when I sing. I have never thought so hard when I sing. There is a lot of things to have to think about when singing. I miss the days that I just sang. There aren't many days left like that any more. Is it sad that I wish that music was simple and easy? Is it sad that I think some of this is like wayyyyy over the top? Am I in the wrong degree? This is all I think about. Did I chose the right path? I love music. LOVE MUSIC! But why then,  do I feel like this whole degree is more work then it should be. Am I cramming too much music in one semester and is that why I feel discouraged?
I know that doubts are normal. I know that in the end this is virtually the only thing I truly want to do with my life. So I'll do the work! :) Because I love music :)

But I still think its weird that we all say Butter wrong.

Happy singing!

Courtney Griggs

What I Have Learned From BYU-I.

After two weeks of being at this place I feel like there is a lot of things that I have learned about myself and others. I think your eyes open up when you have to do things out of the ordinary and that are foreign. So here is a list of things that I have learned about myself and others! Enjoy!
1. People really enjoy the movie Frozen. Like, to a point thats nauseating. I swear every time someone says anything in my vocal anatomy class about letting go of your diaphragm and larynx that a chorus of people have to sing let it go from frozen. That movie is going to haunt my dreams forever and ever.
2. Everybody is either getting engaged, just married or going on a mission. It's so weird! I met a girl in my Theory class who has been here for two semester and is married.... Oh did I mention that she's younger then I am? Yeah. She JUST turned 18 like over christmas break. I was floored! Mom, could you imagine me being married at 17?!?! NO. Just NO. The other thing about this is that you start to have those feelings. I have never ever in my life wanted to be married until I after I graduate from college but seriously, I swear its the air here and the fact that everyone my age now is married. That's mormons for you I guess. Also in this category is the fact that my choir teachers keep saying how numbers are shrinking in choirs because of missions! My women's choir is 60 girls and last semester it was 112 girls. About 30 of those were due to being off track but the other numbers are from missions and just not taking choir. Thats like 20 girls lost from choir to go on missions! What the heck?! Missions are good things but everyone is going on missions! At least that air isn't getting to me yet, still haven't felt the pressure of going on a mission.
3. Sleeping is a reward. I haven't had a full 8 hours of sleep since Ive been here except last saturday. Ive been averaging about 6 hours nightly. Mentally, I am exhausted. Physically, I am exhausted. Every time that I hop into bed to go to sleep every night, I want to cry because it feels so good to be finally laying down and getting to go to bed.  It is probably the best feeling a college student can experience. Sleep is good.
4. Bunk Beds are never comfortable except when sleep deprived and exhausted. So bunk beds are actually quite comfortable.
5. The boys can treat girls like meat. It seems like the common goal here is to get married. Why? When you figure that out, let me know. Some guys here are really bad. You'll see them point at you from across class, you'll see them check you out as you are walking past them. Its disgusting! but the flip side is thats not every guy. Just most.
6. Pasta is good. Really good. If you don't like pasta, don't go to college.
7. People will ask what you're name is every time you see them. Thats not that big of a deal but its really funny when they act like this is the first time you've ever met and this is the first time you have talked when in reality, you've probably introduced yourself 3 times.
8.Studying is an all day thing. I come home, work on school work the minute I walk into the door and BAM! its 9:30 and I still have 3 hours of work to do. This is bound to happen if you are taking 15 credits which equates to 10 classes. It is a lot of work. Dedication is key and seeing the long term goal of the experience.
9. Sacrificing social time becomes very familiar. When I didn't want to hang out with someone back home, I would just make up an excuse and not hang out... Here, I have to find excuses to go hang out with people! I have to tell myself, this assignment will only take you ten minutes later tonight so why don't you go out? IM JUSTIFYING SKIPPING STUDYING.
10. Headphones are a beautiful creation to drowned out everything from Frozen, to drowning out your room mates. I adore headphones.
There is probably more, but this is a good place to stop at the moment I think.
Stay positive, Happy Singing!!
Love, Courtney Griggs